My Son the Super Villain

Me, upon tucking his red plaid Ralph Loren shirt (yes, Value Village) into his navy trousers: "Rhone, you look so handsome."

Rhone: "Do you mean I look... fantastic?"

Me, laughing: "Yes, you do."

Rhone: "Bella! Look at me! I look fantastic!"

***

In the car on a long freeway drive, Rhone suddenly began laughing the evil genius laugh: "Mwah-ah-ah-ah." He did this over and over again and then declared, "Mom, I'm a super villain."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. And my name is... Yucky Man!"

"Wow, Yucky Man?"

"Yeah. And my super power is, I can spray yucky goo all over everyone."

Now where the hell did he come up with that? However, Yucky Man was short-lived. After he had covered me, Jezebel, Noelani, and all the passing cars in yucky goo, he had a personality alteration.

"I'm not Yucky Man anymore. Now I'm Dr. Shrinky."

"And what's your super power? Let me guess."

I couldn't help but wonder how Rhone had stumbled upon this fact of nature on his own at the tender age of three. Because I realized that it's true: after spraying the goo, all men become Dr. Shrinky.

Disclaimer: I swear to God (ok, yes, that's not super binding for me; how about swearing to my garden) that I did not make up anything about this exchange.