Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I used to be in the habit of using the phrase "it was a nightmare" to describe an unpleasant situation. No more. Two nights ago I had the worst dream of my life. In short, it involved my preoccupation with the business resulting in the decapitation of one of my children. I will not go into detail but let me assure you that the dream was extremely graphic.

I've just written down the entire dream--first time I've ever done anything like that. I had one other horrible dream about a child's death once, a long time ago, and it still haunts me. (Same method, interestingly enough. I'm sure you wanted to know that.) I'm not saying that writing this one down made it any easier to deal with. I can't close my eyes without thinking of it, yet. But it felt right to do, and that's a start. I wrote it in a dark place, although I had considered posting it here for catharsis. I decided none of you need that kind of horror in your minds. Holding that image makes me feel dirty, but it won't go away.

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